Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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