Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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