Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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