I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
