Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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