Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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