Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
