Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
