Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
