i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
