the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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