Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
