arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
