apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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