lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
