I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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