Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
