I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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