I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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