The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
