I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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