I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
