I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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