Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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