you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize