I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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