Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
