I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
