Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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