sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
