You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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