I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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