I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need to align my fucking chakras
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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