Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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