There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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