There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
