Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
