Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
