Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
