Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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