My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
