If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They took my balls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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