I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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