i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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