how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
