We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
