U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
