What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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