No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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