I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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