like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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