My liver just broke up with me...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
