i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
