I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
