god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
