Quick, to the slutcave!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
